jake y eifion

Track Listing:
Side One: Preparation
01: "I've Gone"
Lyrics: Adjutant
Music: Lewis
Idea: Adjutant
02: "National Shoe Convention"
Lyrics: Adjutant, Lewis
Music: Lewis
Idea: Lewis, Adjutant
03: "The Search"
Lyrics: Adjutant
Music: Lewis, Adjutant
Idea: Adjutant
04: "Under the Shit Car"
Lyrics: !
Music: !
Idea: Lewis
05: "So Little Time"
Lyrics: Adjutant
Music: Lewis
Idea: Lewis
Side Two: Ascension
06: "Dance It"
Lyrics: Adjutant
Music: Lewis
Idea: Adjutant
07: "Sittin' Chair"
Lyrics: Adjutant
Music: Lewis
Idea: Adjutant
08: "Shoebox Hero"
Lyrics: Adjutant, Lewis
Music: Lewis
Idea: Adjutant, Lewis
09: "It's in My Anal"
Lyrics: Adjutant
Music: Lewis, Adjutant
Idea: Adjutant
10: "Ballad of the PS3 Games"
Lyrics: Adjutant
Music: Adjutant
Idea: Adjutant
11: "'EY, TONY"
Lyrics: !
Music: Lewis
Idea: Adjutant


"I've Gone" lyrics:
(awesome opening bass riff)

Well, I've loaded up and I'm goin' (goin')
To a place that I've never been (yeah, I've never been)
In all honesty, I'm just tryin' (yeah, I'm tryin')
To get away from you, now, babe (gotta get away)
Well, I've packed up all my shit (shit)
And I'm goin' somewhere new (goin' somewhere new)
Just to get away from you now, darlin' (oh, darlin', please believe me)

And I've gone (gone)
Yeah, I've gone (gone)
And wherever I'm goin', I know it's gonna be cool (cool)
Cool (cool)
Cool (cool)
Yeah, cool (cool)

It's all right, now, girl (it's all right now)
We both knew that one day I'd leave (he's leavin' home)
It's gonna be fine (she's in love with me and I feel fine)
You know I'm always goin' places (there are places I remember)

(odd guitar lick)

And these places are unknown (fuck yeah places)
They all recall my days (days wowow)
Of runnin' in 'n' out of shoe (shoe)

Well, I've gone (gone)
Yeah, I've gone (gone)
And wherever I'm goin', I know it's gonna be cool (cool)
Cool (cool)
Cool (cool)
Yeah, cool (cool)

(guitar solo - Lewis)

And I've gone (gone)
Yeah, I've gone (gone)
And wherever I'm goin', I know it's gonna be cool (cool)
Cool (cool)
Cool (cool)
Yeah, cool (cool)

I've always needed to get away (gotta get away)
And now I've got the-excuse (so excuse so)
When you bitched me outta that house, I knew I had to go (going, fun activity)
I knew I had to go to a place that I don't know (gotta get away)

And I've gone (gone)
Yeah, I've gone (gone)
And wherever I'm goin', I know it's gonna be cool (cool)
Cool (cool)
Cool (cool)
Yeah, cool (cool)

(guitar solo - Lewis)

'cos I've gone (gone)
Gone (gone)
Fucking gone (gone)
More gone than a man who has a disease which prevents him from not-being gone and

(end on giant power chord coinciding with "and")


"National Shoe Convention" lyrics:
(groovetastic guitar riffin')

(Jakey)
I was in a bit of a bind
After I left I realised
I had been with her for the past few years
I had no clue what to do or where to go
I've been driving around Seattle for weeks
What's that, over there
Could it be
The National Shoe Convention

(chorus of gots)
Ooh, ooh, National Shoe Convention, yeah
Ooh, ooh, National Shoe Convention, yeah
Ooh, ooh, National Shoe Convention, yeah
Ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah

(Jakey)
The convention is incredible
So much shoe, everywhere
Shoe on the walls
Shoe on the ceilings
I'm having the time of my life
At the National Shoe Convention

(chorus of gots)
Ooh, ooh, National Shoe Convention, yeah
Ooh, ooh, National Shoe Convention, yeah
Ooh, ooh, National Shoe Convention, yeah
Ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah

(Eifi)
Hey, you
(Jakey)
Me
(Eifi)
Yeah, you
I'm not in the best shape
I need someone to continue my legacy
I need you to serach for grooves
(Jakey)
Fuck, no
(Eifi)
I DARE you to search for grooves
(Jakey)
You're on
(Eifi)
But first let's enjoy
The National Shoe Convention

(chorus of gots)
Ooh, ooh, National Shoe Convention, yeah
Ooh, ooh, National Shoe Convention, yeah
Ooh, ooh, National Shoe Convention, yeah
Ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooh, ooh, National Shoe Convention, yeah
Ooh, ooh, National Shoe Convention, yeah
Ooh, ooh, National Shoe Convention, yeah
Ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah


"The Search" lyrics:
(bland guitar licks)

I went to New York City
To ask where the grooves have gone
I was met with banshee screams
My search was just beginning

I went to Los Angeles
To ask where those grooves might hide
All that they gave was autotuned
Could it be that the grooves are gone

I went to Washington D.C.
To inquire as to where grooves are kept
All that they had was men in suits
No grooves in sight, not here

I went to Toronto, Canada
To question the existence of groove
All I found was bands that can barely play
It's like the grooves just ran away

I went to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
To check for exotic grooves
All I found was corn and hay
It's as if no one knew of groove

I went to Paris, France
To see if they had groove
All they had were baguettes
I ate well, but still no groove

I went to Berlin, Germany
Trying to find some groove
There were only power chords
Not exactly what I'd call groove

I went to Moscow, Russia
Checking for a scrap of groove
All they had was ice and snow
Groove was nowhere to be found

I went to Birmingham
Hard-pressed to find some groove
All I found were factories‎
All the groove had gone

I went to Dover, Delaware
To ask where the grooves could be
(guitar gets progressively groovier, tempo increases)
To my surprise, they had grooves
All we needed was some funky bass
And we'd be groovin' harder than a man who has a disease which prevents him from not-groovin' to

(guitar solo -- Lewis)

I finally found the groove
It was hiding in Delaware
Going through the deserts
Going through the snow
Travellin' through the woods
Pressing onward no matter what
My objective has been fulfilled
I have found the grooves that eluded me
All is as it should be, yeah, yeah, yeah

(guitar solo -- Lewis)
(one-man jam solo -- Adjutant)
(guitar solo -- Lewis)
(one-man jam solo -- Adjutant)
(guitar solo -- Lewis)
(one-man jam solo -- Adjutant)
(guitar solo -- Lewis)
(one-man jam solo -- Adjutant)
(guitar solo -- Lewis)
(one-man jam solo -- Adjutant)
(end on giant power chord)


"Under the Shit Car" lyrics:

Sometimes I feel like
I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel like
My only friend
Is the Shit Car I live in
The Shit Car of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I drive her on streets
'cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills
'cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds and
She kisses me windy and
I never worry
Now that is a lie

I don't ever wanna feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
I don't ever wanna feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
Yeah yeah
Yeah yeah

It's hard to believe
That there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe
That I'm all alone
At least I have her love
The Shit Car, she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I don't ever wanna feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
I don't ever wanna feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
Yeah yeah
Yeah yeah
Oh no
No no
Yeah yeah
Love me I say
Yeah yeah
Yeah yeah

Under the Shit Car downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the Shit Car downtown
I could not get enough
Under the Shit Car downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the Shit Car downtown
I gave my life away
Yeah yeah
Yeah yeah
Oh no
No no
Yeah yeah
Here I stay
Yeah yeah
Here I stay


"So Little Time" lyrics:
(acapella at first)

(sung as chorus)
All that begins
All that exists
It all must end
Eventually

Even the people
Even the trees
Even the world
Even the stars
They all must end
Eventually

(slow acoustic playin')
(Jakey)
No one in the world
Is safe from the end
Its grasp will overcome
It all must end
Eventually

Even the people
Even the trees
Even the world
Even the stars
They all must end
Eventually

(guitar solo -- Lewis)

(chorus)
Even the people
Even the trees
Even the world
Even the stars
They all must end
Eventually

(Eifi)
So little time
So much to do
None of it matters
It all must end
Eventually

Even the people
Even the trees
Even the world
Even the stars
They all must end
Eventually

(guitar solo -- Lewis)

(chorus)
Even the people
Even the trees
Even the world
Even the stars
They all must end
Eventually

(Jakey with Eifi backing)
Once you're fading away (once you're fading a-waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay)
You'll start to wonder (oh yeah you'll wonderrrrrrrr)
Where the time has gone (where the time has gooooooooooooooooooooooooone)
But you'll just realise (you'll all realiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise)
It all must end
Eventually
(it all must end)
(eventually)

(Jakey)
Even the people
Even the trees
Even the world
Even the stars
They all must end
Eventually

(guitar solo -- Lewis)

(chorus)
Even the people
Even the trees
Even the world
Even the stars
They all must end
Eventually

Even the people
Even the trees
Even the world
Even the stars
They all must end
Eventually

(ten seconds of silence, everyone bursts into laughter)


"Dance It" lyrics:
(iconic opening chord)

Yeah, I've been dancin'
Gotta keep on dancin'
Me and all my friends
We all just go it
And dance it

Dance it all night long
Dance it all through the day
Our feet are on fire
But not our shoe
That would just be wrong
However, we all know
We're just gonna keep on dancin'
SOLO IT, EIF

(Eif says "no")

SOLO IT
or else........................................... :@
this gun.......................................... :@

(guitar solo - Lewis)

Gotta keep on dancin'
Dancin' like Marilyn Manson
Dance on, my bro
Dance on
(Jakey begins sobbing)

(guitar solo - Lewis)

Dance it up
Dance it down
Dance it all night long
Dance it like a man who has a disease which prevents him from not-dancing it for

(end on power chord coinciding with "for")


"Sittin' Chair" lyrics:
(riffin' guitar)

Sittin' here in my chair
It's pretty comfortable
Not too comfortable, though
Chillin' out maxin', relaxin' all cool
When the chair breaks oh no
(Eif's like "oh nooooooooooooo")

Oh no
Look at what has transpired
My chair is all broken
This is the worst day ever
I'm gonna go kill myself

(during this verse, the vocals are turned down, and Eif loudly drinks some Pepsi Max, and says "ahh, the refreshing taste of Pepsi Max")
Writin' out my will
It's pretty well-written
Not too well-written, though
Bawlin' my eyes out, cryin' all sad
When the pen breaks oh no
(Eif's like "oh noooooooooooooo")

Oh no
Look at what has transpired
My pen is all broken
This is the worst day ever
I'm gonna go kill myself

(guitar solo -- Lewis)
(during the solo, Jakey loudly eats some breadsticks, and says "ahh, the wholesome taste of Pizza Hut breadsticks")

Gettin' out my gun
It's pretty powerful
Not too powerful, though
Aimin' my gun at, preparin' all ready
When the gun breaks oh no
(Eif's like "oh noooooooooooooo")

Oh no
Look at what has transpired
My gun is all broken
This is the worst day ever
I'm gonna go kill myself
(Eif's like "oh wait")
... fuck


"Shoebox Hero" lyrics:

Standin' in the store
With his head hung low
Didn't have no money
But he needed the shoe
Saw the box on the shelf
He could picture the warmth
Put the box in his anal
And like a desperate thief

He ran out of the store
Heard the beep of the machine that detects stolen items
Felt shoes in his anal
And the very next day

He got a tub of laxatives
From the pharmacist's store
Didn't know how to use them
But he knew for sure
That one shoebox
Felt good in his anal
Didn't take long
To get used to it

So he started fappin'
Ain't never gonna stop
Gotta keep on fappin'
Someday gonna beat the record

AND BE A SHOE
BOX
HERO
GOT SHOES IN HIS ANAL
AND BE A SHOE
BOX
HERO
GOT SHOES IN HIS ANAL
He'll beat the record
Tonight

(guitar solo -- Lewis)

You need kool-aid
Baby, I'm not fool-aid
I'm gonna send yeah
Back to school-aid
Way down inside
I'm gonna give you it
I'm gonna give you every inch of it

Oh, wanna whole lotta it

(guitar solo -- Lewis)

I can't help about the shape I'm in
I can't sing, I ain't pretty and my legs aren't thin
But don't ask me what I think of shoe
I might not give the answer that you want me to

(guitar solo -- Lewis)

So he started fappin'
Ain't never gonna stop
Gotta keep on fappin'
Someday gonna beat the record

AND BE A SHOE
BOX
HERO
GOT SHOES IN HIS ANAL
AND BE A SHOE
BOX
HERO
GOT SHOES IN HIS ANAL
SHOE
BOX
HERO
SHOE
BOX
HEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
He's got shoes in his anal
SHOES IN HIS ANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL
(classic ending)


"It's in My Anal" lyrics:
(country-sounding guitar lick)

So, yeah, I was walkin'
Down that road
When a super-cool man walked up to me
He stopped me and said "where's the treasure"

And I said "it's in my anal
A great place to be
Yeah, in my anal
A place you've got to see"

(guitar solo -- Lewis)

And then the next day
The man came back
He came right up and said to me
"You're lyin' to me
I checked that anal up and down
The treasure is not there
Now tell me its location"

And I said "it's in my anal
A great place to be
Yeah, in my anal
A place you've got to see"

(one-man jam solo -- Adjutant)

Yeah, it's a place you've got to see
(power chord coinciding with "see")
(Eif says "shame it doesn't exist")


"Ballad of the PS3 Games" lyrics:


"'EY, TONY" lyrics:
(slow acoustic playing)

'ey, Tony
I like the things you do
'ey, Tony
If I could, I would be you

You're the one and only tiger
With the one and only taste
You know how to take a breakfast and make it
great

(guitar solo -- Lewis)

(acapella)
Frosted Flakes are more than good
They're
(Fresno says "great")

b-sides:

"A Bran I'll Never Be" lyrics:
If I said what's on my mind
You'd turn and walk away
Disappearing way back in your dreams
It's so hard to be unkind
So easy just to say
That everything is just the way it seems

You look up at me
And somewhere in your mind you see
A Bran I'll never be

If only I could find a way
I'd feel like I'm the Bran you believe I am
It's getting harder every day for me
To hide behind this dream you see
A Bran I'll never be

I can't get any stronger
I can't climb any higher
You'll never know just how hard I've tried
Cry a little longer
And hold a little tighter
Emotions can't be satisfied

You look up at me
And somewhere in your mind you still see
A Bran I'll never be

If only I could find a way
I'd feel like I'm the Bran you believe I am
And it gets harder every day for me
To hide behind this dream you see

I can't get any stronger
I can't climb any higher
You'll never know just how hard I've tried
Cry a little longer
And hold a little tighter
Emotions can't be satisfied

You look up at me
And somewhere in your mind you still see
A Bran I'll never be

If only I could find a way
I'd feel like I'm the Bran you believe I am
And it gets harder every day for me
I can't keep hidin' this feelin'
A Bran I'll never be


"I Can't Believe You Let Brian Die, Man" lyrics:
(piano)

He was a really cool guy
I would have given my eye
Just do save him
You know what I mean, Tim

I can't believe you let Brian die, man
It feels like I've been pushed into minivan
I can't believe you let Brian die, man
Just when he was working on his tan

He was a really cool dude
He liked to eat food
Now he can't do that
The electrocardiogram line was flat

I can't believe you let Brian die, man
It feels like I've been pushed into minivan
I can't believe you let Brian die, man
It wasn't at all like my plan

(guitar solo -- Lewis)

I can't believe you let Brian die, man
It feels like I've been pushed into minivan
I can't believe you let Brian die, man
Why couldn't it have been Stan

"Skank Master Land" lyrics:

In the land
Where I was born
Lived a guy
Who wasn't too nice
And he got exiled
From our land
Because we weren't
Too fond of him
So he cast
A shit spell
And enscased the orphans
In some shit

He wants to turn the world into a skank master land
Skank master land
Skank master land
He wants to turn the world into a skank master land
Skank master land
Skank master land

But the spell
Shot right over
Eifion's head
Because he's cool
But now he has
To get back the
Basketballs
That were lost

He wants to turn the world into a skank master land
Skank master land
Skank master land
He wants to turn the world into a skank master land
Skank master land
Skank master land

As he finds
Basketballs
And rescues the
Orphans
You know he will
Beat Gustav
Because he knows
All of this

He wants to turn the world into a skank master land
Skank master land
Skank master land
He wants to turn the world into a skank master land
Skank master land
Skank master land
He wants to turn the world into a skank master land
Skank master land
Skank master land
He wants to turn the world into a skank master land
Skank master land
Skank master land


"Born to be Shit Car" lyrics:

Get your Shit Car runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah, darlin', go an' make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once, yeah
And explode into space

I like smoke and lightning
Heavy metal Shit Car
Racin' with the wind
And the feelin' that I'm under
Yeah, darlin', go an' make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once, yeah
And explode into space

Like a true Shit Car child
We were born, born to be wild
We can climb so high
I never wanna die

Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Born to be wild
Born to be wild

SEA MEN ROCK LIKE A


When I was a young boy, my father told me that I was the only only one who could harness the power of the sea men... ten years later, they came to me... and told me to rescue their president... president... sea men...

Save the president... (President of the sea men, oh yeah...)
Save the president... (President of the sea men, oh yeah...)
Save the president... (President of the sea men, oh yeah...)
Save the president... (President of the sea men, oh yeah...)

*guitar solo*

There will be a phone call between me and Jinz (AFTER the soloage), where he gets all Secret Service "Mr. Adjutant?" "Hola, senior." "Yes, Mr. Adjutant, we are the Sea Men. We need your help rescuing our president."

*saxophone break*
*more soloage*

*music goes quiet*

When I rescued the Sea Men's president, he thanked me. I explained to him how my father told me that, like, I was like, the only one who could harness his citizen's power, and all that. He said, "Oh yeah, that's right. I totally forgot about that."

I saved the president... (President of the sea men, oh yeah...)
I saved the president... (President of the sea men, oh yeah...)
I saved the president... (President of the sea men, oh yeah...)
I saved the president... (President of the sea men, oh yeah...)

*more soloage*

*rising drumbeat*

I then harnessed the power of the Sea Men. HARNESSED IT. ROCK. HARD.

*outro gee-tar/sax duel*

SEA MEN
SEA MEN
SEA MEN
SEA MEN

*duel carries on*

SEA MEN
SEA MEN
SEA MEN
SEA MEN

*back to duel*

OH YEAH, I HARNESSED THEIR POWER

*back to duel*

THE POWER OF THE SEA MEN, I HARNESSED IT

*back to duel*

I SAVED THEIR PRESIDENT

*duel*

SEA MEN
SEA MEN
SEA MEN
SEA MEN
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*big rock ending*